Wednesday, March 17, 2010

What is JESUS' descent?

As I was reading and surfing I found this article which I'd like to share with my fellow blog-whores....

Have a fantastic read.

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH

1) He went into his father business.
2) He lived at home until the age of 33.
3) He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.


THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH

1) He never got married.
2) He never held a steady job.
3) His last request was a drink.


THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO-RICAN

1) His first name was Jesus.
2) He was always in trouble with the law.
3) His mother did not know who his father was.


THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK

1) He called everybody "brother".
2) He had no permanent address.
3) Nobody would hire him.


THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN

1) He never cut his hair.
2) He walked around barefoot.
3) He invented a new religion.


THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS FRENCH

1) He never changed his clothes.
2) He only washed his feet.
3) He didn't speak English.


THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BRAZILIAN

1) He survived on miracles
2) He was harassed by the government and politicians
3) He never had any money


THREE PROOFS JESUS WAS KENYAN

1) ?
2) ?
3) ?

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Why men should not write advise columns

A woman is very troubled by the happenings that have occured lately in her life. She decides to write to a columnist about her recent revelation.

 She writes;

Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. Unfortunately, my car stalled and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husbands' help. When I got home I could not believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours' daughter.

I am 32 and my husband 35 and the neighbours daughter 19 years. We have been married for 11 years. When I confronted him he broke down and admitted they had been having an affair with her  for the last 6 months. He won't go for counselling, and am afraid am a wreck and need advice urgently.

Please help,
Sincerely,


Sheila.



After a week, she read this in the column:

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after covering such a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.

Start by checking there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all the grounding wires. If none of these solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

You might also consider buying a mobile phone.

I hope this helps,
John